This immediately issued images to me from the Cold War era in America and the legislation that resulted. The National Commission on Excellence in Education in the US, stimulated by A Nation at Risk, a report regarding the huge deficit among American youngsters due to a dearth in a rigorous education in math and science, reported that “our once unchallenged preeminence in commerce, industry, science, and technological innovation is being overtaken by competitors throughout the world” (Fraser, 2010, p. 343). This argument was stimulated by the Soviet Union’s launch of Sputnik and the fear that America was falling technologically behind in the arms race – further spurring tensions in 1983, when the report was released.

I did not have a warm and fuzzy reaction to the fact that private industry, stimulated by billions that limited natural resources affords it, somehow invested a few million dollars in the American education system. First, as a student who was constantly pushed towards math and science by my very math- and science- oriented parents, I guess I probably do have a chip on my shoulder that language, music, psychology, art, sociology, and other soft sciences don’t demand more universal clout. Ever read Orbiting the Giant Hairball by Gordon MacKenzie? It’s a great book (in all fairness, recommended to me by my dad) that discusses the harm of eliminating the soft sciences from the classroom. It also trumpets the harm of skills taught (i.e. math and science) that can be easily mass reproduced across the American education system – not to mention the world. (Outsourcing, anyone?) Creativity cannot be taught. Unique ideas, inspiration, raw talent, passion, and love do not come in academic equations. Why are we supposed to get so excited when private industry gives earmarked funds in some ambiguous way to the American education system?

Finally, have I mentioned Chevron’s gross annual profit – forget estimated market value? $23.93 billion in 2008 alone – and we’re supposed to be impressed by a measly 5 mil to American education in the sciences? Least of all, where exactly did they put that money? I’m guessing due to oil’s support of roaring conservatives like Rick Perry, with the Department of Education on the top of his hit list (forget those esteemed departments he couldn’t remember he wanted to axe), that their private, conservatively-backed funds are probably not going to the DOE. So, who is benefiting from this endowment, and in what state and district?

I am a graduate student in a program under the umbrella of the college of education, so I get excited when any person or entity endows money to education. However, as a graduate student on a graduate student salary in the “soft sciences,” I get incensed when people applaud private industry for pouring more money into already extremely well-endowed areas. Every academic specialty has its place, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard a private company laud a soft science on national television, much less endow money to it. How nice would it be to hear, “let’s help young people differentiate America, take that next great evolutionary leap, and create writers who can poignantly communicate in an ever-increasing cyber-consumed world, and people who stand to actually solve social problems and improve human interaction?” I can tell you – really freaking nice!

I’m talking about giving to those who are marginalized. Right before the end of my senior year at Notre Dame, I was extremely close to signing-up for a year of service abroad. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to help people. So sign-up, sign away your life for a year, and go. Go help people. My parents were supportive to a point. Their influence over me altered the course of my future, and I will forever be grateful.

My dad always told me when I was growing up that he thought it was great that I wanted to help people. For a while when I was young, I just knew that God was calling me to be a nun. Every time I tell people that they look at me like I’m crazy (I’m an extremely social person who loves to have a good time). I knew I had this crazy, intense connection with my Catholic spirituality and I felt that going into the convent was the one surefire way I wouldn’t lose that; I wouldn’t let myself lose focus of that in my life.

My dad told me that I could go be a nun. He told me that I could go work for a year or two in a third world country and learn how to help build houses, find water, plant gardens, teach classes – do whatever else needed to be done. However, he also told me that God had given me more than just a desire to help people. I have an extreme desire to have a career where everyday I know I’m working towards something that will make the world better for a population of people who have very few advocates. He told me that God also gave me other gifts – the gifts of resolve, persistence and determination. The gifts of natural curiosity, a dissatisfaction with mediocrity, and an intuitive and particular intelligence. My dad told me that because God had given all of these additional gifts to me, I had to go out and use them. This is not to say missionary work doesn’t require those skills. However, I was privileged enough to earn a business degree from a top-tier university and I have very specific academic interests that without which my world falls completely flat. My dad made me see that I had to figure out a way to blend my desire to help people with my academic strengths and intellectual passions.

In some ways, I think this path is harder. Every day living in a secular world, trying to remember to keep God at the center of it all and not lose focus of true purpose. Yet, had I gone on a year of service abroad, I would never have had such a poor work experience my first year out of college that it forced me (typically an annoyingly positive person) to unblinkingly stare at the negatives in an occupation I hated and come to grips with it. This changed the course of my future and sat me flatly in a career path that I am unequivocally excited about and convinced that I’m meant to pursue. I never would have known enough to enter into this career path, without also meeting my husband along the way – a man who is one of the only people I have ever met who loves more people more unconditionally than me, and challenges me to broaden even what I consider an open-mind, and never take universal truths upon face value. The seemingly small decision at the time – no, I’m not going to be a nun. No, I’m not going to do a year of service abroad, I’m going to work instead – populated my life with a degree of happiness that I never knew was possible. I remember the 6 months that preceded that feeling and it was truly one of the lowest points of my career, self-image, and life. Every day I asked God to give me the strength to continue and to please have something better in store for me – and he blessed me.

I think it’s so important for young, 20-somethings to have “Ah-Ha!” experiences like this as early as possible. I realized what I had always intuitively known, and that’s simply that there are domains of life that I absolutely have to have present in order to be happy. I have to have family intimately involved and connected in my life – I have to feel like my support system is there and that I’m giving it the attention and nurturing that it deserves. I have to have an exciting and purposeful career. I have to be able to use my mind and my dedication to help people. That’s it. I need to be academically stimulated on a day-to-day basis and I need a trajectory, with professionals around me who support that trajectory and understand it. I need a strong presence of spirituality lining every day and consistently interweaving itself into my life. Everything I do has to be able to be traced to a foundation of strong morals, a spiritual purpose that drives actions. Finally, I’m a workout junkie and I have an extremely addictive personality. I have to have a workout a day. Only if I’m working from 7am-9pm can I justify skipping – and even then only every once in a while. My poor experience in the private sector helped me figure out what I really valued, what was really important. Those parts of life that I can’t live without to be happy.

Additionally, I found it was important for me to be honest with myself about the kind of lifestyle I wanted. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter how much money I could potentially make – nothing makes-up for a work-life balance. I want more in my life than sitting at a desk 10 hours a day. Life is richer and more involved than that – it has to be. I took a 50% cut in my salary to be doing what I am today, my husband and I get by just fine, and I have honestly never been happier.

So back to what started this all – why does it take so much to get people to just give a little? My studies, my research work, my career path is centered around individuals with disabilities. I want to use an academic career to concretely help families and help individuals who often have very little options to achieve what most of us take for granted – an enviable quality of life. When I talk about an “enviable quality of life,” I really mean the ability most of us have to be causal agents of change in our own lives. We have the ability, at least when we become the age of majority, to make decisions about what we do and do not want to do. Most individuals with disabilities rarely have the opportunity to do even this. They live with a quality of life that is so low, that the most modest improvements can open their lives up to these incredible experiences that change them – their presence and impact on this earth. And, yes, these are oftentimes the things we most often take for granted (the ability to have friends, to go and get a cup of coffee, to have day-to-day social interactions, and to share how we feel with others – just to name a few). And the thread tying all of these disparate thoughts together is “happiness.”

I was flailing. I was crying at least once a day. I hated my job. I felt oppressed. I felt like I did fantastic work, I put it all on the line, and it was never appreciated, never enough. I tried so hard to care about the industry. I tried so hard to do everything I could to be a fantastic employee, and I just felt like I continued to fail and fail. I desperately needed a change. I was 21 and I was dying under the weight of this oppressive work experience that was sucking the essence of who I was right out of me. So, I did something I have almost never done in anything in my life – I quit.

I had a choice. I was in a miserable situation, I was sinking, and I could do something about it. Many individuals with disabilities can’t even express what they want. They are rarely given choices because the staff members who work with them find that it takes less time if they just superimpose their own preferences on the individuals they work with. This oftentimes leads to behavior management issues, problem behaviors, aggression, etc. These are typically the only outlets these individuals have to say – I’m unhappy. This is not what I want. I want to quit.

The other experience that truly changed my perspective on the history of our system when it comes to “managing” individuals with disabilities, is an experience that happened, to the day, one year and 2 days ago. I was running by myself at 5:30pm on a Friday afternoon in Austin, TX, I got stopped by a police officer for “jay-running,” one thing led to another, the police officer was insistent upon teaching me a lesson, and I spent that evening and the whole next day (25 hours total) in jail. As a person who is notorious for abiding by the rules, and constantly trying to please, this was an experience far divorced from anything I had ever experience before. I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol before I turned 21 – and here I was, by myself, in a cell, in Travis County Jail for 25 hours. I cried myself to sleep the first night – I was literally convulsing on the cement slab and plastic mattress underneath a thin blanket praying my heart out because I was so terrified. I’ve always been ridiculously in touch with my emotions, and it doesn’t take much for me to escalate situations in my head. Three things I will never forget from the experience that will always drive my advocacy for individuals with disabilities. (1) They lock you in your cell. Maybe this is common knowledge, but have you ever had this experience? Of being locked in a room, and not permitted to leave for 25 hours – except when they call you at 3am to fill out your deposition, see your lawyer the next day around 11am, falsely wait to be released around 3pm, and then get so desperate that at the time you know they can no longer hold you without being charged, you are frantically asking the prison guard for the time and inquiring about your release. This is the ultimate loss of power and as a strongly individualistic person, this was crushing to my spirit. Even if I couldn’t have left the room, just to have the door open would have made a huge difference. (2) In prison/jail movies, they always show people with things to do. This is simply not true. I had a mattress, blanket, cup, toilet, toilet paper, and sink, all in the same room, and that was it. (No soap, much less a toothbrush or toothpaste.) I kept all the wrappers from the food they gave us just because I suspected that we would be given nothing to do – and I just read them over and over. (3) You have no control over your own destiny and no connection to the outside world – much less any idea what is going on with your case. My fiance (at the time) and parents were the only reason I had anyone advocating for me on the outside. I was completely dependent on my support system.

I bring this extremely emotional example to light, because it almost uncannily parallels what individuals with disabilities, especially significant disabilities, experience on a daily basis. They are taken to environments that they are told they have to go to, with often very little say over whether or not they want to be there. This is exactly like being in a cell with a locked door. They often have no idea when they get to leave, what the expectations of them are in the environment, or what is happening. Yeah, if this was me, I’d probably try and bite someone, too! Second, especially throughout history, individuals with disabilities are placed in group homes, oftentimes on couches in front of televisions, and they literally have nothing to do. All day, they’re left to their own devices with little choices for what they can do (much less the ability to do it independently). I can tell you from my limited experience that this is an unbelievably deflating experience. It can make you lose all hope, all motivation, the will to do anything. Finally, individuals with disabilities are often left in the dark about what is going on in their own lives. They rarely have any say over the course of their futures or have the ability to weigh-in at all about how this progresses.

I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. He has profound autism, intellectual disability, and epilepsy. After I got married, I became the executor of his financial documents and I will become his guardian when our parents can no longer fulfill that role. I have a strong affiliation and vested interest in how this population is treated. I have also for my entire life valued minorities, anyone who has been marginalized or left-out, and people who are quirky and different. I have always been quirky and different. My personality is exuberant, rambunctious, and it can be a little much for some people. But, my personality is a byproduct of resilience. How can most people in life be unhappy? Do they even know what it feels like to have real problems, to not have anyone to rely on, to not have friends?

I can’t imagine what this must feel like or how heartbroken it would make me. It saddens me that it takes such a realization for me to come out of my comfort zone and put myself out there in uncomfortable or inconvenient situations to help those who really need it or who appreciate it more than any average person would.

I want to live my life helping people. I just want everyone else to want to do that in their own ways, too. What an incredible mark that could have on the world. To give and embrace when we may not want to. It really was just a flip of a coin that allowed us to get so lucky to be able to give that kind of support ourselves – rather than need it from others. What makes us so special that we don’t have to give back, empower others, and build them up? Even more – what makes us not want to?

Double knot your laces. Stride long and hard. Summon that song that gets your adrenaline rushing. Come on. Fly down the streets. Pump your arms faster. Check your watch. Wave to the car that lets you go; submerge your feelings for the one that cuts you off. Put it into the pace. Frustrated at the professor who doesn’t recognize your potential? Push the pace. Tired of not getting to pursue career opportunities because of class obligations? Push the pace. Irritated at the peer who decides that their perspective is the right one, even though you know your class grades are higher? You can run faster. Hate how far away you are from your family? Dread the midwest winter months? Weary of superficiality, fakeness, and a meaninglessness in day-to-day conversations? Come on, push it. Leave it all on the  trail.

Leave it on the road. Come on. 27, 28, 29 – go faster. Have nothing left? Go farther. Cadence up. Downshift. Push that pace.

It’s not about winning. It really couldn’t have less to do with placing. I always think it’s hysterical that there are people who live and die by their workout plans. I run 50-70 miles a week, bike at least 40, swim between 2 and 3, and lift 2 or 3 times. What did I do last week? If I think hard about it I could probably tell you. The week before that? Ha…you’ve got to be kidding. It’s not about mileage. It has nothing to do with mileage logs. It couldn’t be less about planning, or organizing, or fitting workouts into nice, neat little packages with bows and perfect little boxes. I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow, much less 2 weeks from now. Tuesdays are usually track days, long rides and runs on the weekends – usually. But I run, ride, swim, and lift “how I feel.” If I got a good grade, a good review, paid, paid more than I thought, or just generally something good that I didn’t expect happened – that’ s cause for celebration = extra long workout. If I’m disappointed in my class performance, research work, missed opportunity, or anything else that swings me below equilibrium = extra HARD workout. The workouts are my callibrators.

I live in schedules. Wake up between these 30 minutes. Fit workout in 1.5 hour window. Do classwork for 3 hours. Research work for 2 hours. Shower, eat, and get ready in 1.5 hours. Class for 3 hours. Be home by 8:30pm to make/help with dinner. Chores for 30 minutes. Work/wind-down for 1 hour. Bed around midnight.

I refuse to schedule my workouts. They are my free spirit times. Unstructured workouts – that’s me. I’ll have an idea, then see how it shapes up. I’ll err on the side of making them harder. But I have never, nor will I ever, record mileage, effort, or anything else. It’s its own reward. It’s self-satisfying. It’s cruel to skip. It’s a creative, free-form approach. I bet writers, artists, and musicians are far better runners/exercisers/athletes than most people might think.

Run free. Ride free. LIVE FREE.

I plan on doing this in two parts. I’ll start with my emotional insights and recollections, and then rehash the chronology of events. Sometimes a straightforward schedule can remind me of moments that I would have completely forgotten, but the meaning is between the lines, in the details, in a meaningful way that a strict schedule can never capture.

On the day of Jeff’s and my wedding, I looked outside from our room overlooking Ladybird Lake on the Town Lake trail and prayed to God. My connection with God started, thankfully, at a very young age, and I have always most celebrated and connected with my spirituality through nature and song. I know that my relationship with my husband is sacred, but I also know that we have made mistakes along the way – human mistakes, nothing big, but probably me not being patient or kind enough with him, fighting or saying hurtful things over stupid situations, etc. All the typical things that couples experience. The thing about our relationship is that it was fate that we met, only a slim chance would have ever afforded the opportunity, and it was magic how the stars aligned after that first moment. It’s been obvious to me from the beginning that God has hugely been present in our bond and our experiences, and I wanted Him to know how much I cherished that, and that I realized it, and how desperately I wanted Him to sanctify our marriage and be honored and present through our ritual.

It was a bit of a cloudy morning in Austin, and although I had not worried about weather once in anticipation of this weekend, and I would have been happy even if it had been raining, I did ask God if he could make the day in the perfect way that it had been when I first fell in love and connected with Him. The beautiful sun that creates neon leaves in the trees and a cool wind that chills the otherwise steamy day, with birds chirping and flashing and flowers dancing and prancing. I just asked that he might bless our union in this way, and he did.

The wedding ceremony was unprecedentedly meaningful but surprisingly poignant and simple. I remember walking down the aisle with my dad to the beautiful acoustic guitarist and vocalist (she did both) that we hired purely for the sweetness and simplicity of her touch and voice that was basically ethereal. When it’s that beautiful outside and the song is that sweet, I can’t help but tear up – it makes me unbelievably emotional. I got to the front of the aisle, with Jeff expectantly looking at me and Brother Scott in front of us. The song wrapped up, and then my mom and Deb and Chuck all joined Dad, Jeff and I for the sweetest most light hearted group hug. Just perfect!

Jeff and I then joined hands the real ceremony started. Brother Scott mentioned how those who had thought this was going to be a typical, traditional Catholic Ceremony might have something else in store for them (fairly clear after our nontraditional and hilarious group hug)! He then proceeded to thank God, bless the day, and bless our union on this very special day. He then asked our readers to come up and read. Cousin Meghan Carr started the readings with her reading from Genesis about how a man bonds to a woman. Cousin Kelly Etris wrapped up the readings with one from First Corinthians about the essence of love – love is patient, love is kind…the greatest virtues are faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love. I was deeply touched by both readings, outside, with the wind flitting through the trees, the birds singing, and God smiling down on us.

Then, Jeff and I answered 3 questions about our intent concerning entering into marriage and our intent to raise our children in the Catholic Church. Then it was time for our vows. Mine were as follows.

Jeff,

The Catechism describes marriage as “a bond which is perpetual and exclusive,” “a force that strengthens into dissoluble unity,” and “supernatural, tender, and fruitful love.” Even if I had never read those words, I would know they were true simply from witnessing the fortitude and passion of your parents’ marriage, your sister’s marriage, and your family’s unbreakable bond – which led me to fall in love with them just as sincerely as I fell in love with you.

Every aspect of your character is inspiring; your spirit is the essence of sweetness and kindness. Your drive and zest for life both challenge and excite me – it didn’t take long for me or my family to recognize that you are my kindred spirit.

God made a covenant with man: “authentic married love is caught up into divine love…sealed by a blessing, announced by angels, and ratified by the Father.” Jeff, make a covenant with me in God’s presence: I give you my unwavering devotion and loyalty, to be at your side no matter what we face ahead. Be with me forever.

I didn’t cry too much during them, just a tiny bit at the end, but I finished strong. Then Jeff read me his (which I will insert here as soon as he sends them to me).

Christy, we met on a whim, or so that is what I would have believed until you proved otherwise.  In our relationship so far, you have taught me (selflessly) about the tenants of faith.  I believe your wisdom, because there is no other way to explain how we came together to fall so deeply in love.  Here, a belief in faith and love have provided us with the opportunity to stand together before family and friends and commit to a lifetime of caring and love through marriage.  Christy, there is so much to love in you: your spirit, humor, wit, beauty, patience, and commitment.  You have shown that such a strong love is in fact no random occurrence, but is absolutely founded in faith.

 As a cliché, please let me describe our relationship thus far as comparable to a solid foundation.  I know we have far to go—distance and time to let our love to evolve—and I am confident that through time we will continue to build and grow our love together for eternity on this incredibly strong foundation.

 Christy, I profess my vows to you on our wedding: with the opportunity to marry you, I faithfully commit to love and support you in good times and bad; I faithfully commit to foster your spirit and personality, so that it may continue to evolve and explore throughout your life; I commit to continuously work to enhance our marriage with your best interests put first and in my heart; I faithfully commit to honor and love your family and to pass these ideals to future family.  I commit to let you lead our family to a spiritually enriching life through religion.  I faithfully commit to live by these vows, and I am honored to marry you.

Then we lit the Unity Candle (we had a minor issue when Jana Morris, our acoustic guitarist, needed the microphone which Eddie had stuck in his pocket, but we quickly remedied that), and Brother Scott described the Unity Candle Lighting as a Celtic tradition that stemmed from Irish Catholic families lighting a fire when they got married, and then stoking it all night and every day and preventing it from every going out. It’s a symbolic, Irish-Celtic tradition. We honored Deb and Chuck by using two, individual, short white candles, and one big, stout white candle – two truly becoming one. Deb and my mom came forward to light each of the individual candles. It was a bit of a windy day, so Jeff and I stood there for a good minute making sure that we had stoked the fire enough with each individual candle to keep the big candle lit.

Then we came together again in front of Brother Scott and in front of the Unity Candle Table, and he asked for our rings. Jeff did a “stage turn” to Eddie to retrieve our rings, and then handed them to Brother Scott to bless. Brother Scott blessed them and gave a beautiful homily about how St. Francis believed nature was more sacred than any man-made spot. He then described the significance of the two rings – 2 concentric circles, not only found everywhere in nature, in the large pecan tree standing over the Barr Mansion house, at the peak of the ballroom with the sun shining through, but that the 2 concentric circles represented the bond between a husband and wife. Love takes 2 people – 1 person gives, and the other person receives. Then, the other person gives, and the first person receives. This process continues and propels the relationship to even greater and more significant heights – hence the strength of the bond between a husband and wife.

Then, we exchanged the rings. I put Jeff’s on him and he put mine on me. It was a hot day and big weekend of drinking, so Jeff’s ring didn’t quite fit him when I put it on him, but mine seemed to fit okay (clearly, I had not been carrying my weight in the drinking department)! Then Brother Scott pronounced us husband and wife, and we had a good, LONG kiss that probably offended everyone over the age of 70 in the audience! Then, Jana started with “I Feel Fine” by the Beetles, and we recessed down the aisle. It was the perfect ceremony. Simple, sincere, sweet, and inclusive. Everything I wanted. All the bridesmaids and groomsmen recessed, and then we got everyone together for a beautiful and hilarious group photo.

Because details are so important to me, I’ll use my next post to recount the rest of the details after the ceremony from my recollection. Then, I’ll probably use the post after that to recount the details from the whole weekend…this basically has to be done in phases in order to do the whole experience justice and not bore everyone to tears!!! Thanks for all the patience!

We are in a world – an emerging world in the era of new technologies and an ever more efficient one at that. New hires are deemed more valuable by their knowledge and adeptness in this new world. Social networks are the aim of business – how to leverage these networks, these relationships, to maximize profits. If you have an interest in the function and experience with the technology, you are deemed an asset by a particular business. Is that all it takes? Why again are we studying Aristotle, Kafka, Newton, and Aquinas?

It’s easy to get caught up in that world – dazzled by the flash. The rapid pace at which everyone moves. Wow. These people have things going on. They have meetings, Blackberries and iPhones buzzing, and calls to take, appointments to keep, places to be. They are bees – buzzing from flower to flower, freaking all the humans out who don’t want to be stung and grabbing everyone’s attention.

Running for running’s sake is not efficient – and for me that’s saying something, because I would go crazy if I didn’t cover 60-80 miles a week. Burying ourselves in careers that could be obsolete tomorrow or require skills that are superficial at best is a great way to live a purposeless life as quickly as possible and then die. We need time to think deeply. We need time to identify what’s important to us. We need to take time to not talk, turn our computers and phones off, and learn from our predecessors preserved in history and ink. There’s a reason they are legends and their ideas have created many of the enterprises, inventions, and creations that we benefit from today.

But Aristotle, and Galileo, and Newton, and Einstein all observed. They tinkered, they tested, they thought deeply about problems and came up with profound solutions. There are so many smart people in the world today. Educated people with unique ideas about the world and perspectives about how to solve the world’s problems. But morality is being stuck in the closet and having the door shut in its face. Decency, kindness, real people in real places with real conversations are echoes of this distant past that doesn’t seem to resonate with my current generation, much less future ones.

The world is becoming heartless, and it’s easy to fall in step with it and be seduced by its coaxings, its trappings. It looks fun, it looks sexy. Going to work every day all dressed-up and important. Managing people and/or projects and going for drinks at night. Hanging out at a bar on the weekend, meeting sexy singles, hooking up, finding a potential mate. But it’s not real.

It used to be easy. The rich were (and still are) stigmatized for leading vapid and empty lives – consumed by managing their money, spending their money, enjoying their money. Typical young singles today have embraced the same empty values that they idealistically crucified the upper class for when they were receiving their liberal arts educations. It’s easy to condemn a class with everything – once you feel like you could be them, all judgments stand aside. It’s a world of gray – sure, I used to think that dressing up and spending lots of money on a snazzy wardrobe was materialistic, shallow, wasteful, frivolous…but, if it turns out that I can use the fact that people judge others based on first appearances, I can embrace that materialism and use it for my own personal gain.

How have we gotten so off of a path, and caught up in our own hamster wheel? Just running around and around and around ourselves, and scarcely noticing anyone else in our lives unless their existence directly impacts, or even more specifically, benefits us.

Don’t succumb. You don’t have to be old-fashioned, or Fundamentalist, or right-wing conservative to see the value in actual human interaction, appreciate the essence of nature, the earth, love what you can both give and get in social interactions, and care about making the world better for those who can’t function in the mainstream marathon.

Sure, self-interest sells. Sure, capitalizing off of people’s vanity or guilty pleasures is a terrific way to make money. But perpetuating that lifestyle – so that all the people around us become even more vapid, more self-absorbed…well, that’s the exact opposite of the altruistic ideal that, whether they’ll admit it or not, every college student starts university believing: that I want to do something to make the world a better place. When did the world convince us that the only stakes we have in the game are our own?

If my life started to even remotely resemble a rut of repeat houses that lacked personality much less culture or ethnic nuance, I would make a change. I would do something drastic so I could find the excitement of diversity, life, social experiences, and the richness of culture again.

I’ve frequently contemplated aging, maturing, and gaining hold of a successful career that still constantly challenges, stimulates, and excites me. As a young, 20-something how do I keep the fun and craziness that I love in life without sacrificing the challenge and academic rigor that I crave?

First, I have to admit that I have an unfair advantage on this dilemma – definitely a leg-up on the version of myself asking these questions a year ago. I now have a partner in crime I get to contemplate these questions with – my fiance is a guy who frequently proves that he’s better at having more fun than I do and just received his PhD from the University of Texas last weekend, so clearly he’s more than able academically.

He’s part of the answer to this question though, I think. Finding someone who excites you about your future and doesn’t make you feel like you’re settling by subscribing to a life with them.

Finding a partner, while in my opinion the most important component, is still just one part of avoiding the uncomfortable future that plagues your nightmares. Keeping creative spaces with whatever personal space I have is another priority for me. I’m currently saving up to invest in a sewing machine, and despite my personal lack of patience for drawing, I have creative musts on hand (these creative musts span from the obvious, New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, to less obvious choices like a hot glue gun and glue sticks or rubber cement). I never want to feel or be in a place that’s washed-out – creativity can go a long way when you’re on a budget (and if you take your time it can still look great).

Living close to universities and in culture-oriented towns with unique, fun, and classic traditions is also a priority. Knowing neighbors and living in lively and thriving neighborhoods with comradarie is also a wonderful way to continue meeting new people and exposing yourself to new ideas and lifestyles. Meeting new people will always be a priority for me.

Traveling as far and as wide as I can afford, while still saving, is a must. I want to see the world. I love nature and I want to see every part of the natural earth and experience it. I want to climb/hike mountains, bike and run through every terrain, and swim everywhere. I want to experience the natural world and sample every part of the world.

Another hugely important component, is career. A career doesn’t have to be boring or limiting. It can and often is the place where I meet the majority of my friends. Why not find a career I love and want to be immersed in so I can surround myself with people I respect and want to get to know?

Finally, things like spirituality, athletics, and being open to other pursuits, hobbies, and opportunities are always important. I try really hard to never be closed to living anywhere or trying anything at least once. It’s the best way to realize what you love and what you don’t, and just crafting my life in this open-minded way has given it a zest, flavor, and flare that nothing else has achieved.

Live large, with no regrets, and certainly not uncomfortably! The one solace I have when I contemplate the reality of an uncomfortable future that so many choose or simply accept, is that I’m an active agent in my own life. I may be destined to do certain things, but I can change where I do those things or how I do them. In no way do I need to resign myself to a complacent future – I want to make an impact in this world in a real and flavorful way, and I know that in this regard I’m master of my own destiny.

Duds

Four Seasons Hotel & Suites
98 San Jacinto Boulevard
Austin, TX 78701
512.685.8300

Hilton (near Convention Center)
500 East 4th Street, Austin, Texas, United States 78701
512.482.8000

Marriott Courtyard
300 East 4th Street
Austin, Texas 78701
512.236.8008
-Cheapest available: $199.95

Hampton Inn & Suites
200 San Jacinto Blvd.
Austin, Texas 78701
512.472.1500
-Cheapest available: $209/night
Pros: location
Cons: price

Driskill
604 Brazos Street
Austin, TX 78701
512-474-5911
- April 22-24th, contract option gets best rate: $209 (less than 20 rooms, only responsible for 10 rooms)
-Courtesy rate, not responsible for any rooms (10% off of each): $278

Good Finds

**Radisson Hotel & Suites
111 East Cesar Chavez Street
Austin, TX 78701
512.478.9611

*Holiday Inn  on Town Lake (really nice, like it)
300 East 4th Street
Austin, Texas 78701
512.472.8211

Duds

Austin Land and Cattle – pretty crappy location, at 12th and Lamar
Roaring Fork***seems cool – has character, seems like it could be fun (I’ve heard good things about their Texas music) – not sure if it has a balcony or a cool view or anything, though – owned by Eddie V’s [sub-par food, sub-par service]
InterContinental Stephen F. Austin – bar and terrace with spectacular view of the Capitol***seems cool

• Talked to Christopher, received price menu 7/6/2010
• Follow-up: yes to dinner on Friday, willing to provide all beer and wine, hard-booze people pay for individually – what special packages will accommodate this
  • Can we put 1 thing from the $85 on the $65 } the 22 oz Cowboy Ribeye
  • Everyone from my family will be ordering fish since it’s Good Friday
  • At terrace bar and restaurant, provided beer and wine, hard-booze people pay for individually – what special packages will accommodate this
  • (512) 583-0000
  • Wrote Christopher back as a no-go on 7.13

Three Forks – seems pretentious, crappy website [no more than 60 ppl]
Iron Cactus – awesome view, extensive menu (right on 6th street)**might be too rowdy of a location, but seems cool
Austin Museum  of Art – probably require catering, and not sure what the facilities would really be like (prob just an exhibit) – might not really be our style [only 1 room, not our capacity]
Iron Works – right on Waller Creek, seems kind of cheesy, kind of crappy location (but walking distance)
Boat on Lady Bird Lake: Capital Cruises***seems cool or LoneStar Riverboat

• *Eddie V’s
  - Seafood, steaks & rhythm
  - 512-472-1860
  - Alex, only seating up to 70 (prob no band)

• Driskill
  • Victorian room ($500, $5000 food beverage menu, 90 possible, band & dance floor on lower level, everyone can come in, pass appetizers, buffet downstairs, upstairs and eat, beer & wine
  • 70-90 people (no prob)
  • Live band, (no prob)
• French Legation Museum
  • 802 San Marcos Street, Austin, TX 78702
• Hotel San Jose
  • Don’t do private parties

Good Finds

• *Serrano’s
  • Private stage, great open area, Fajitas, Margaritas (Casual or dressy, to fit our theme)
  • Family-owned business, started in Austin
  • 1111 Red River, Austin, Texas 78701
  • 512-322-9080
  • Event coordinator: Abel Estrada, catering@serranos.com

• Z-Tejas
  • 512-478-5355
  • @ least 75
  • Can rent out house right next store for private venue

• *Lambert’s
  • 401 West 2nd Street, Austin, TX 78701-3802
  • 512-494-1500
  • Event coordinator: Fallen Gaskamp, 512-791-5745, fallon@lambertsaustin.com
  • 6-9pm/6-12am
  • 6-9pm, min spend on $3K
  • 6-12am, min spend of $5K
  • On-top, 20% gratuity
  • Plus sales tax
  • Buffet, up to 70 people
  • Heavy hor’s-deorves/cocktail for 90 (standing room, cocktail party)
  • Top floor
  • Enough seats for 60 people at any given time, 68 for any more [no one ever sits at once, 40 maybe 50 people] – band/dj…drew womack (myspace, click music, and he’ll be under that), bluegrass (drew $600, $1200, really good bands)
  • $850 – limited bar
  • 4 seasons, Shoreline

• Q Weddings
  • Suzie Q., $4500;
• La Dolce Vita Photography – Alina [contact - works for Suzie, cheaper]
  • $3400
  • **Like her a lot!
  • Left message: 7/5/2010
• ***Katherine O’Brien } The Knot [contact – good, but more affordable
  • I really like her work!

• Ashley Garmon Photographers (same as Suzie Q.)

• stella alesi/photography
  • Contact: she does the Barr Mansion frequently
  • $3500
  • Left message: 7/5/2010